Cherries

Life isn't always a bowl of cherries, but it's not always the pits either ... The choice is ours!

Ringo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCyuq-ofnPc

Click on the link above to view the video. My boss, Steve, decided that he'll substitute "Ringo" with "Inge" and sing this to me each time he walks by my desk ... He's done it a couple of times already today. How does he come up with this stuff?

May the Fourth be with you!

Fireworks in Kaysville.

Bon Rico

Tonight we went to one of Edna and Roger's favorite restaurants in Evanston, Wyoming. That's right, we travelled 60 miles away into another state for some meat. Not pictured above are the french onion soup, salad, and homemade wheat/rye/white bread loaves that come with every meal.

Despite the recommended steak, I had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb ...

DDD: 2009 Saints and Sinners Tour

Angel, Tracie, Max and I went to Huntsville today for what Max called our "Saints and Sinners Tour".

We started with lunch at the Shooting Star Saloon. The establishment is famous for their "Star Burger" which is basically a double-patty cheese burger, a split Polish knackwurst, grilled onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and "secret spices" on a toasted bun. I've had this huge burger a couple of summers ago, so I knew better than to order it. Instead, I had the manageable "Mini Star" which is a single-patty cheese burger with a smaller portion of the rest of the stuff listed above ... it was still a big burger and it took me a while to finish it. Other memorable features of the Shooting Star Saloon include:

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  The many stuffed animal heads which include a Saint Bernard, elk, moose, jackalope, and bear.
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  We played Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline songs on the juke box.
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  Dollar bills signed by customers and stapled to the ceiling.
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  The AJAX-like granulated hand soap that was rough enough to exfoliate your hands. Apparently there were some questionable art work on the ceiling of the ladies' room, which I'm grateful not to have seen.

Next stop, David O. McKay's home. Missed the available tours by a day. Oh well, next time ...

Last stop of the Saints and Sinners Tour, the Holy Trinity Monastery. When in Huntsville, I usually visit the monastery and buy some of their creamed honey. The monks sustain themselves by what they make in the bookstore/gift shop, so why not? They had a list of saints and what they are patrons of in the store. Max pointed out that we could probably use a medal with Saint Catherine of Alexandria as she is the patron saint of single women. We looked high and low, but could not find a single one, so I caved and asked the monk tending the store.

Me: Excuse me, Father. I see that you've listed Catherine of Alexandria on that list of saints, but we can't find a single medal with her on it. Do you have any in storage?
Father Pat: I'm sorry, we don't have any of those. What is she the patron saint of?
Me: Single women.
Father Pat: Well, in that case you may be interested in Saint Jude.
Me: What is he the patron saint of?
Father Pat: He's the patron saint of lost causes.
Me: BWAH!!!

New toy!

That's right, I loved having a GPS unit so much during my little getaway, I bought one last night to help me not get lost around town. Set up was a breeze. In fact, I didn't even look at the instruction book. Of course, I had to test it out and managed to get Brenda to come with me. So, we set a route from Centerville to the State Capitol. Then, we disobeyed just about every other direction, so that we can be "corrected" in an American, Australian and British accent, then Cantonese, Italian and German. The Chinese voice sounded mean, but we LOVE Paulo, the Italian voice.

Of course, the addresses I put in the GPS are all of my friends, whose homes I know how to get to ... time for an adventure or two and hit the road less travelled!

Uh oh ...

Yikes! I think I might have gotten a couple of people in trouble. After sending out the latest email attaching job listings and other opportunities to the ward, I received a few emails from people outside of my ward requesting that I find them jobs. Hello! I don't even do that for the people in my ward, so why would I do this for them?

So, I wrote back to these people and told them that, as Employment Specialists, Travis and I have been instructed by the bishopric to focus on the employment needs of the members of Monument Park 19th Ward. We are not head hunters and do not have the HR background or resources the employment centers have and that we do our best to share the resources that we are made aware of with the ward members who are un- or under-employed. I suggested that they contact their own ward's Employment Specialist for assistance or seek assistance from their local LDS employment center. Well, just to cover the bases, I cc'd my co-chair, Brother Knowlton and the persons who referred these individuals to me in the first place. I got a phone call from Brother Knowlton about an hour later. Yikes! In his own words, Brother Knowlton was "incensed" and wanted to let me know that the referrers were out of line and that he will put a stop to this immediately.

I didn't know I'd get these people into trouble. I just wanted them to know that I replied to their friends' requests and have sadly had to refer them elsewhere for help ...

Robo-cops?

A few weeks ago, I started noticing a few of our men in blue on segways around the downtown area. I've not had a chance to chit chat with them, until today.

Me: I'm guessing that the "Ride Along" program doesn't work very well with you guys.

Cop: Nope.

Me: So, what do you do when you have to arrest someone and take them to the station?

Cop: We call for a car.

Me: I bet chasing people down is a lot easier for you now, eh? Run 'em down ...

Cop: Yeah, want to try it?

My excuse ...

So when I turned 30, I told myself that if I'm not married by the time I turn 35, I would go into a sperm bank and get knocked up. I had a plan ... I will start with a house plant ... if I keep that alive for a year, I will graduate to a gold fish ... if I keep that alive for a year, I will graduate to a small pet (cat or dog, whichever doesn't cause my allergies to flare up) ... by the time I'm 35, I'll be ready for a baby.

On the eve of my 35th birthday, I'm still working on the house plant. Oh, well ...

Hard times ...

I realize that this economy is tough on a lot of people, but really? WOW! From today's Salt Lake Tribune:

OKLAHOMA CITY » A man in Oklahoma City says he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich. Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him. Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left. Police say Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents. Police have not found the attacker.