Oh, Maxine!

Maxine is one of my favorite cartoons around and these couple of things I found on her facebook page gave me a good chuckle.  Enjoy!

Love is like a roller coaster—when it’s good you don’t want to stop and when it’s not you want to throw up.

What if ...

What if a virgin is artificially insiminated and gives birth to a child ... would that make her a virgin mother?

Oi, I need to go home and get some sleep ...

Bucket List

I've decided to write down my bucket list, so this what what I came up with last night. Not in any particular order and omitting the ones I've accomplished, here is my current bucket list. If anyone is up for an adventure with me, let me know ...

• Visit ALL 50 States (Minimum 24 hours in the state)
• Eat sushi in Japan
• Travel through Europe
• Fly First Class
• Fly in a hot air balloon
• Grand Canyon Train Trip
• Great Wall of China
• Orient Express (Paris <=> Istanbul) while reading Agatha Christy
• Pyramids of Egypt
• Ride a Camel
• Ride a Donkey into the Grand Canyon
• Ride an Elephant
• Sail around the Greek Islands
• Size 6 ... Again
• Stonehenge
• Taj Mahal
• Take Cooking Class
• Take Flying Lessons
• Take Photography Class
• Take Tai Chi Class
• Train Trip to Denver in the Fall
• Tuacahn Festival
• Visit Ancestors' Graves in Indonesia
• Write Personal History
• Cherry Blossom Festival
• Attend a Chinese Opera
• Retire to a little hut on a beach ...

Overwhelmed

A couple of weeks ago, I was notified that I will be taking on a fourth attorney at work.until the end of the year. The secretary who left will not be replaced and her three attorneys reassigned to different secretaries at the firm. I was told that attorney D had not given her former secretary X anything to do in about two weeks and I can expect the same light load added to my current duties.

It has now been a week and a half since the arrangement was put in place and I have been averaging 1-2 hours of work daily for attorney D (a week of which attorney D was on vacation). The foot-high stack of files and documents secretary X brought to me at 5:30 PM on her last day was confusing and a HUGE mess! Did I also mention that she had left a cubicle full of unfiled documents? Luckily, most of those documents belong to the other attorneys, BUT ... how was it that she kept her job for so long and what did she do all day during her work hours? The other secretaries who inherited her attorneys and I feel like we've just inherited our very own Pandora's boxes. Then again, all this would explain secretary X's multiple facebook status during work hours.

Kitchen Nazi

There's an attorney here at work who by her own volition have appointed herself the "Kitchen Nazi".  Despite not EVER eating in the lunchroom, she insist that the thermostat must be on -2 or -1. Once upon a time, when we had some really awful vending machines and keeping the room cool was necessary as the  warm temperature would melt the candies in the machine.  We have since gone with another vending company and the machines we have now are actually temperature controlled.  But never mind all that, we are to freeze while we eat our lunches and the Kitchen Nazi would lecture us if we turn the setting to zero or off.  We were so cold one day I turned it to +1 ... Oi! She wouldn't shut up about it for days! Another thing she is very passionate about are the number of plastic cups placed on top of the ice machine. She prefers that no more than half a dozen be placed on the tray next to the ice scooper.  Once upon a time, she had even asked me to run an article (repeated about three times, if I remember correctly) in the firm newsletter stressing this preference and stating that the firm loses "hundreds of dollars each year in cups that fall behind the ice machine." It was the biggest joke! Do you know how many cups it would take to add up to "hundreds of dollars" worth? Being the Paper Product Coordinator at church, I have a good idea on how to answer this.  A bag of 240 plastic cups from Costco cost about $13 so it would take about 16 bags (3,840 cups) to get $208 worth to make that statement true. That's an awful lot of cups and I know for a fact that they don't clean out the fallen cups more than once year around this place and they have not found 16 full bags of fallen cups behind the machine. So ... WHATEVER! Earlier this week, a metal shelf was installed on top of the ice machine to cover the gap between it and the wall.  My guess is that it is a way to prevent loss of more cups and thus saving the firm "hundreds of dollars" each year.  Today another attorney (who shall remain nameless) decided that he would put three tall stacks of plastic cups on the ice machine to exaggerate this unspoken rule the Kitchen Nazi had imposed and really just out of spite for her.  Not an hour later, the extra cups were put away in the cupboards. When he saw that they were put away, he decided to put two smaller stack on top of  the ice machine, just to see if this was a bit more acceptable. Ha ha ha ... shouldn't the Kitchen Nazi be more concerned about doing some billable work if money is an issue? Talk about a CONTROL FREAK!

Sugar Cane

Reminiscing of after school treats from my childhood days in Hawaii. One of my favorites was the rare treats of freshly cut sugar cane (about six inches worth) for a nickel and gnawing on it all afternoon long while hanging out with friends on the sidewalk, shooting the breeze. Such simple pleasures ...

TMI!

I have a facebook friend whose postings within the last couple of days have been about the newly potty trained child. Really? I'm sure that this is a major event for her (as it was for the first three older kids she raised), but I really don't care about her child's bodily functions or said child's ability to now do #1 and # in the proper place ... it'll only make me lose my appetite and the lunch hour is nigh ...

Perfect Lives

Not that I'm reveling in other people's misery, BUT ... I'm glad that when people you think have such perfect lives let you in on the truth and you realize that they have troubles just like you do, that their life/family is as dysfunctional as yours ... and sometimes a little bit worse.

It's so true that whether the glass is half full or half empty depends on whether you're pouring into it or out of it.

Camille

To entertain myself during my road trip this weekend, I borrowed several audio books. One of which was the unabridged version of "Camille" by Alexandre Dumas. I picked out the book mostly because "The Count of Monte Cristo" by the same author is one of my favorite books of all time, so of course I'm curious about his other works. May I just say, WOW! What a great piece of literature! I didn't realize I already knew the story as Camille had inspired "La Traviata" and "Moulin Rouge" -- both of which I am a fan of. I sat in the car for an extra half hour before heading into the house to hear the story's end and cried just as I had when I first saw "La Traviata". What a great way to pass 8 hours this weekend.

A Quick Getaway

The 39 Steps

Took off on Saturday to Cedar City to see a play at the Shakespearean Festival.  I've not gone in a few years and go figure, I wanted to see just about every play they had to offer this year.  However, due to scheduling, I had to narrow it down to a couple of plays. So, I went down on  my own and went to see "The 39 Steps". What a fun and witty comedy! So glad that it was one of my "must see" plays and that I didn't  bend or compromise in seeing it.  The other play, "Macbeth", I will see in a few weekends. Those who have seen it have raved about it and I can't wait.

Lilly and Me

While down in Cedar City, I managed to squeeze in a quick visit with a college friend I've not seen in about 18 years. Lilly lived in Hale 2 with me and we were in the same student ward. Thanks to facebook, I have reconnected with Lilly and it was fun to catch up with her, even if it was only for a couple of hours. I'll plan my trip down there a bit better next time, so I can visit their home and meet her husband.

So, the most important thing I discovered on this trip: I can't sleep without my four pillows. A round pillow for under my neck, a pillow on my left and my right (one o give me some back support and other to hug) and lastly a pillow for my feet or to slide up between my knees. I must have gotten up about half a dozen time last night because of the lack of pillows.  Next time, I'll call for additional pillows ... even if it is in the middle of the night.

Turquoise Sky

I took this picture with my cell phone on the evening of July 3rd at about 8:30 p.m. ... Yes, I can be that specific because with this steel trap of a mind, I clearly remember taking this picture after the army band concert on Temple Square. It was such a beautiful night and we were all in awe at the beautiful sky when we got out.  The sunset was amazing, but alas, my camera phone was ill equipped to take a decent picture of it.  I do like the contrast of the turquoise sky against the temple.