Life is never dull at CNM ...

I came back from lunch to find an email from our office manager notifying us that we are on lock down for a few hours as an "uninvited" man described as "an older gentleman, full beard, green ball cap, big glasses and damp clothing" is roaming the building. Later, we got the scoop that said "uninvited gentleman" came up to our floor and tried to convince a couple of attorneys to take him on as a client, when rejected, he asked if he could use our phones and restrooms. When it became apparent that he was loitering, he was asked to leave. Somehow, he managed to get back on our floor undetected and was later found by the office manager in the men's room on our floor stripped down to his underwear, washing his clothes and bathing in the sink. He was once again asked to leave and this time escorted down to the lobby. The gentleman then entered the bank branch lobby and started making himself at home there by taking out the contents of his backpack and laying them out all over the place. It took two security guards and a policeman to cuff the damp, green ball-capped, bearded, older gentleman. Oh, did I mention that the gentleman became belligerent when the cop cited him? Yeah, he lunged for the policeman's citation book and that was when she got pepper-sprayed.

Remember, kids, mental illness and illegal drugs don't mix!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Celebrated Chinese New Year with a few friends this past weekend.  I've decided that we're all trying something new this lunar new year and instead of year of the tiger ... we'll make it year of the cougar! Watch out, boys, here we come ... ha ha ha ... like I'm ever going to go for that ... Rrrrrr!

Getting old-er ...

I''m usually pretty good at going in for my annual physical, but I've decided to skip it this year.  Ignorance is bliss and I know exactly what the doctors will tell me.  I need to lose some weight, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ... It's not helping that I got solicitation in the mail from AARP this past year and just the other day a mailer from Sentinel Plan arrived, "A sound and dependable plan that will help pay the last expenses and funeral costs ..." What in the world?  I'm 40-something, why is the world trying to make me feel like I've already got one foot in the grave?  Maybe I should make time for that annual physical after all ...

To make things worse, the other day as I was walking to the parking garage with the receptionist from work. Here is cute and petite, Melissa, walking beside me in a short dress and 3-inch high heels and the thought that came into my head was how long it has been since I was able to comfortably wear dresses that short and heels that high.  These days I dress for comfort.  The skirts are longer, the heels shorter and the waist band ... stretch-ier ... (((SIGH)))  ... I need a hug ...

Cougar

I was asked the other day by one of the runners at work if I could ever be a "cougar".  Don't know why he'd ask, but I was dumb-founded.  Five years either way is my limit ... anything beyond that is outside of my comfort zone.  How do people do it without admitting that someone in the relationship has either a daddy or mommy issue?

Handkerchiefs

 

YAY! I found some ladies handkerchiefs I like online! I bought two of these packages ... hopefully, I now have enough to last me another decade or so ...

Delivery

I think it's funny that the lady in charge of deliveries (I know this because she wore a t-shirt with the word 'DELIVERY' on it) at Skool Lunch is very pregnant.

Sleepless Night(s)

 

I don't really have many sleepless nights anymore, but I can totally relate to this cartoon.  Besides, I don't think there's such as thing as too much sleep, right?

Unless you pay for it, it's not yours!

I have a boss who pay extra money each month to have a reserved parking spot in a prime area near our building.  As she usually comes in to the office around 9:30 each morning and the parking lot is pretty full by then, this is a cost that she doesn't mind incurring.  Unfortunately, because the space is very convenient, a few people in the building have taken to ignore the "RESERVED PARKING" sign and park their vehicles in her spot on more than one occassion. Today was not an exception ...

My boss, LC, ran late to work today because of an errand she had to run before work and by the time she got in the parking garage, the place was packed and someone had parked in her spot.  She got some information off of the vehicle parked in her spot and took it to the people who handle such matters.  This person's office was notified and her assistant said that she would come down and move the car ... 20 minutes later, no assistant and LC had to come up and start on her day, noting that she is to be notified when the delinquent parker is ready to move her car.

Two hours later ... the receptionist notified me that someone was at the office looking for LC to move her car.  LC was in a meeting and couldn't get to her right at that moment.  She threw a fit! Sure, she was tall and thin, but with all that make up and one too many fake bakes, she was SCARY!

Illegal Parker:  "Can't you get her keys and move the car?"

Me:  No, I will not rummage through her purse and move the car!

Illegal Parker:  "How long is she going to be?"

Me:  I have no idea, she is in a meeting (just like you claim to be when you refused to move your car from her spot two hours ago).  She knows you're here and when she is at a point when she can walk away ...

Illegal Parker:  "I have a lunch appointment and I need her to move her car!"

Me:  (Well, then ... you shouldn't have parked in a spot that's not RESERVED for you!)

WHAT A WITCH!