Introducing Inge as Inga!

"Ja, ja, itz me, Inga, ze German barmaid!"

"Wit ze pretty Pink Princezz, Pinky."

"Itz ze mohawk, don't you know?"

"Wit ze scariezt zombie, Zerry."

A Halloween Story ...

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe ... as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door and Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music.. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! The Hills are alive ... with the sound of music!"

(Honestly, how many of you actually saw that coming?)

Autumn Poetry

I think I had mentioned how autumn makes me feel "artistic". So I found this short poem I wrote a few years ago when I was feeling a bit melancholy based on a quote by Victor Hugo.

"Tears are the drops of the soul." ~ Victor Hugo

My tears
drop
emptying
my soul.

Fall

Fall.
Heaven's
tears
fall.
Golden
leaves
fall.
Fall.

First Day of Autumn

I love this season. I love the word "autumn" and prefer it to "fall". Fall paints in my mind something depressing, a death of the seasons, makes me want to cry. Autumn, however, paints reds, oranges and yellows, I feel warmth in the soul and makes me want to write and read poetry. With that in mind, I've gathered a few quotes on autumn. Enjoy!

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life. ~ P. D. James

Autumn is the bite of the harvest apple. ~ Christina Petrowsky

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn. ~ John Muir (1838 - 1914)

A few days ago I walked along the edge of the lake and was treated to the crunch and rustle of leaves with each step I made. The acoustics of this season are different and all sounds, no matter how hushed, are as crisp as autumn air. ~ Eric Sloane

For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad. ~ Edwin Teale

If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It's a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it's time to reflect on what's come before. ~ Mitchell Burgess, Northern Exposure, Thanksgiving, 1992

There is a harmony
In autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!
~ Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792 - 1822)

In the garden, Autumn is, indeed the crowning glory of the year, bringing us the fruition of months of thought and care and toil. And at no season, safe perhaps in Daffodil time, do we get such superb colour effects as from August to November. ~ Rose G. Kingsley, The Autumn Garden, 1905

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. ~ Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

When the bold branches
Bid farewell to rainbow leaves -
Welcome wool sweaters.
~ B. Cybrill

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. David Letterman (1947 - )

The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter wools. ~ Henry Beston, Northern Farm

Fiery colors begin their yearly conquest of the hills, propelled by the autumn winds. Fall is the artist. ~ Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata, Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005

Flu Shots

Summer's Over!

$$$

A few people I know got married this month and I was invited to a couple of bridal showers. As I'm going through my expenses for the month, I'm seeing a HUGE increase in my spending on gifts and it's not even Christmas yet. So, here is my question, do men spend money on gifts and showers for the grooms to be? Of course, I don't mind shelling out the money for a shower and gifts for good friends or family, but when I've not done anything with them or heard from them in years, am I obligated to spend my money just because I got invited? With the money I've spent over the years on gifts and showers for mere acquaintances and I'm sure I could have a really nice something or other. Do I sound bitter that I've not had a bridal shower? Should we make it so that any woman over a certain age be thrown a shower and get her share of gifts if she's not married yet? I think it's only fair ...

Bookworm in a bar

The story of my life, I swear ...

Stupid kid ...